Perseverance in crabbiness

The main thing perservering around here is the bad weather and my "badder" mood! Yesterday, Easter, had a little sunshine, thank goodness, but today back to gray and potential rain. And, my mood is gray, too. Keeping attitude and mood elevated seems to be difficult for me - which leads to more eating of sweets..ahh ha! Since the slippery slope of an addict declaring I can eat a little bit (not true!) I have indulged in sweets every day. Where has my resolve gone from Made to Crave? At church yesterday two people came up to me to tell me they are going to come to the MTC group at church - while I was eating a half a donut, no less. (I was going to say no to a donut - but when I saw them cut in half I suddenly thought it would be ok - what?!?!) Looking forward to accountability at church, surrounding myself with GOd's warriors, I can hardly wait. Meanwhile, looking back at notes, excersizing - and PRAYER - to believe that this time is different...

What I have noticed working as a hospice chaplain, is that I learn from the patients about how to live my own life, and how, I pray, I will live the end. Perserverance in the face of icky, hard, smelly, painful situations is harder than perserverance because I make my own difficulties. Well, maybe I shouldn't say harder, but perserverance when the circumstances are not of your own making, call on your attitude to provide your altitude. Come to think of it, that's true even if I make my own stinky situation! Maybe that's were "Whether I live or whether I die, I die to the Lord" comes from - my altitude for perserverance comes from God. Looking to God. Reaching for God. All of which I can do more easily through humility than puffing myself up! "It's No Secret" talks about humility in chapter 3. Changing my focus from me, onto God and others. My competitive spirit brings my focus on what I can do to stand out, look better, be more likable. However, true happiness and freedom and humility will come from not thinking about myself at all! That's when God can lift me up...Perserverance for these reasons will be more satisfying. Being more focused on God will mean less room for focusing on how I will look better. Bring it on....

Let them eat cake (just not me!)

After two months of abstaining from "sugar" - treats - etc, I fell off the bandwagon. So much for persevering! Went to a new doctor (mine left practice) and had to step on the dreaded scale. Now mind you, I was very happy with my progress up until then, but just in case there might be a surprise, I read some scripture reminders of my worth and prayed for strength. When I stepped on that little devil - sure enough - down 1 pound!!! WHAT?!?! I was ticked. After all that abstaining, eating less than 1400 calories, excercise, etc. this is my reward?? I didn't go on a binge, but when faced with some sweet treats, homemade (I am a snob about this - at first) I indulged. Well, would it make any difference anyway? My hope that this time it could be a new thing in me sunk. However, (God is always there for a big "HOWEVER") I started a new bible study, "It's No Secret" and I am being challenged. Reminded it's not all about me and what is going to make me feel better, it's about how I serve God and others. The vinyl by the doors leaving our house: Serve God. Serve Others. God CAN do a new thing in me. "Forget about what's happened; don't keep going over old history. Be alert, be present. I'm about to do something brand-new. It's bursting out! Don't you see it? There it is. I'm making a new road through the dessert, rivers in the badlands." Isaiah 43:18-19 The Message My dessert is very dry. God says "about" to do something new - so maybe it's going to take longer than 2 months?! hahaha to me - I am so impatient! I need to remind myself that persevere implies a while - and I bet God's "while" is longer than mine! Off to excersize...

A few days in the big city

Spent a few days in Chicago visiting family and friends. Highlight was a trip to Yorktown shopping center to look for 8th grade dance dresses with Genevieve, Shae and Rose, Wendy, Lisa and Kari. Reminded me of my brother-in-law's tales of playing "dress-the-dolly" with his daughter years ago. What fun to look at fluff and sparkle on young, beautiful, perfect little bodies! Didn't take much time to look at much else, but what I did see was an overwhelming avalanche of stuff. At the end of the day, Kari and I stopped in a store we had never heard of "Charming Charlie" which was "Claire's for grownups" on speed. (Not that I have ever been on speed, mind you, but I'm guessing that's what it would feel like.) I wanted it all. In every color. Bought nothing. (Although I did stop on my way home the next day to buy a scarf that I did keep thinking about:) ) By the way, all girls did get dresses. Genevieve's will be modified to include straps and a longer hemline of tulle, making it a more appropriate dress for a 13 year old, I hope. There has been so much more building, even in 5 years. How can one more inch be filled up? Who is buying all this stuff? How can we go on, sheerly buying more stuff? As I drove back on 88 toward a quieter, less stuff-filled life, a kind of calm returned. Whiney, cranky feelings of "why can't I spend that much on face cream?" let go.

Perseverance @ Blog Design!

First post on perseverance- yikes, figuring out how to make my blogspot look pretty! Not sure I have succeeded to my expectations, but couldn't figure out the last few changes I would have liked to make. So in addition to taking an hour or more to put up one picture and a little paragraph, I did got the Y and do a pilates class, led by a gal who has obviously never questioned the whereabouts of her abdominal muscles. I am quite sure my "core" looks like what I leave behind when eating my apples. Here's to persevering at my "move more" goals. In the last two years I have gone from walking a mile (in my kitchen with Leslie Sansone) a couple times a week, to walking probably 10 miles a week or more (still in my kitchen with Leslie now on my netbook) as well as going to the Y for stability ball weight class and pilates. Good for me to remind myself about the progress. "...run with perseverance the race that is set before us..." Hebrews 12:1 My race, eat more veggies and fruit, move more, are being inspired by my ability to lean on God, through reading the good word and prayer. Now on to persevering with quilting projects that need to reach their end!